In the old days our barber was also the small town doctor. He agreed to take a little off the sides after he got my appendix out.

This guy brags a lot about the great fiction he writes every year just in time for April 15.

Have you noticed drinking may be why you get kinda loud. The label tells it … alcohol percent by volume.

Your best friend … will always be there … when he needs you.

Some animals really have it made … a pride of lions, school of birds, rack of lambs …

He said it “My wife is paranoid. She has a rear view mirror on her stationary bike.”

Strange … TV families never seem to watch TV.

My wife’s good friend: “I’d like to have a husband in person … then I’d always know where he was.”

Scientists have found a way to turn normal cells into cancerous cells. It’s called smoking.

It still works … To keep the teenagers at home … let the air out of their tires.