Flee infestation

My boyfriend is moving across the globe. I love him deeply, but he says he’s battling commitment phobia, doesn’t think I’m “the one,” struggles to say “love” and doesn’t have butterflies in his stomach for me anymore. Instead of breaking up now, he wants to play it by ear after he leaves. I’d do anything for him. I’m so sad he’s struggling to love me back. — Crushed

Welcome to the low-impact breakup: “Nothing comes between you and me, Babe, except maybe the world’s largest body of salt water.” Not to worry — after he moves, you two’ll “play it by ear.” Translation: He’ll gradually stop calling and blame the time difference. Or he’ll finally tell you it’s over, but only when he can cut short your crying jags with “Whoops! Looks like my phone card’s about to run out.” Sorry for the tough love, but the guy’s told you in numerous ways that there’s nothing left. Even the butterflies have hit the road. You can wish things were different, but the kindest thing you can do for yourself is admit the obvious, and stop editing the writing on the wall into something a little less “I’ll soon be in bed with Svetlana!”

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail her at AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com). © Copyright 2009 Amy Alkon