The boss gave his secretary a beautiful mink coat. He hopes it will keep her warm and quiet.

My brother was a Boy Scout ‘til he was 15. Then he began scouting girls.

Tell your son ... “Life is a poker game ... takes two to open, and you’ll probably open with a full house.”

Overheard: I just came home from a birthday party where the candles cost more than the cake.

Cynic came from a town so healthy they had to shoot a visitor to start a cemetery.

My college buddy was the carefree type. He never cared as long as it was free.

Most husbands don’t want to be the early riser because then he’d have to fix breakfast.

When your home is carried away with enthusiasm, most of the time it means you have to walk back.

A budget is another name for a family quarrel.