In the old days, our barber was also the small-town doctor. He agreed to take a little off the sides after he got my appendix out.

This guy brags a lot about the great fiction he writes every year just in time for April 15.

Have you noticed drinking may be why you get kinda loud? The label tells it …alcohol percent by volume.

Your best friend … will always be there … when he needs you.

Some animals really got it made … a pride of lions, school of birds, rack of lamb…

He said it, “My wife is paranoid. She has a rear view mirror on her stationary bike.”

Strange … TV families never seem to watch TV.

My wife’s good friend … “I’d like to have a husband in prison … then I’d always know where he was.”

“Scientists have found a way to turn normal cells into cancer cells. It’s called smoking.” – Jay Leno

It still works … to keep the teenagers at home … let the air out of their tires.