Just a thought … No man is really successful until his motherin-law admits it.

Pity the poor barber who cuts hair all day then goes home and has to mow the lawn.

A fundraiser is a person who spends his time urging you to spend your money.

Pause and remember … We should bless all lawyers. Who else would get us out of the trouble they got us into?

Overheard … “I remember when things were so bad they started cutting the wages of sin.”

Lots of husbands complain, “My wife is as pretty as she used to be … it just takes longer now.”

Most girls today are attracted to the man who is tall, dark and has some.

While your daughter is growing up, remember these are the most popular girls: the experimental, the sentimental and the ornamental.

Remember, if you want to be quoted, say something you shouldn’t say.

If Adam was handsome and Eve was beautiful, where did us ugly people come from?