News… Congress will take up the marijuana issue. Politicians look forward to a joint session.

Girlie talk… She named her baby Diploma because she brought them from college.

Overheard… I like playing golf. I get to hit two balls more often than anybody.

It’s true…. Girls tend to marry men like their fathers, which is why so many mothers cry at their weddings.

“Their teacher told us there were two words we couldn’t use… one was gross, the other was cool. She never told us what the words were.”

You’re getting old when the doctor rather than a cop tells you to slow down.

“My wife liked her responsible job ‘til she learned if something went wrong, she was responsible.”

A sign in the shop….We honor credit cards but only accept cash. But nowadays if a guy says cash, they worry about his credit.

“My wife said she’d like diamonds for Christmas. I hope she likes that deck of cards I got her.”