About pets ... the difference: Call a dog, and he’ll come to you. Call a cat, and he may return the call.

A bore is someone who keeps talking while you’re interrupting.

Husband speaking: “Take a break, honey. You’ve been working too hard.” He’s really saying, “I can’t hear the LSU game over the vacuum cleaner.”

Feel sorry for the TV weatherman who predicts rain. They’re dealing with Mother Nature, and she’s just as unpredictable as any gal.

Confusions said it: “When you know and you know that you know, and when you do not know and know you don’t know ... That is true knowledge.”

A church sign: “God so loved the world He did not send a committee.”

School just started ... The kindergarten teacher told her class, “If you need to go to the bathroom, just hold up two fingers.” Small voice from back row: “How will that help?”

“Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless. Knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” – Samuel Johnson (1709-84)

A bore is someone who keeps talking while you’re interrupting.