Girlie question: “How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?” Who cares. They’ll never do anything anyway.

What word is almost always pronounced “incorrectly?” Incorrectly.

A drunk goes to court. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Great! Let’s get started!”

Overheard: “He’s a real family lawyer. He even named his daughter Sue.”

Ladies talking: “What you want your next child to be is a ‘grand child.’”

Definition: Acquaintance - Someone you know well enough to borrow from but not to lend to.

Things to remember: Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

It takes a smart guy to learn several languages and keep his mouth shut in all of them.

A friend works for a company selling cemetery plots. the company’s motto is, “We’ll be the last to let you down.”

Experience is something you get after you need it.