It takes a smart guy to learn several languages and keep his mouth shut in all of them.

A reminder: It’s political law – for every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

With lots of folks, the biggest part of the word “installment” is “stall.”

Remember: “To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.”

Cynic has to remember this: “A brilliant, loving husband remembers his wife’s birthday but forgets which one it is.”

Teachers should get a raise because, if you think education is expensive try ignorance.

Men vacationing on the beach: Remember, your best exercise is to suck in your belly every time you see a body in a bikini.

Advice to coming college grads: Be ready to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Pros built the Titanic.

Overheard: “It’s not who wins or loses, it’s how you place the blame. (Parents, don’t tell your kids that.)

A bachelor defined: “One who believes in life, liberty and the happiness of pursuit.”