Positive response should make sense

NEW CHAPTER

Last September, my husband, Ty, and I were met with the decision to open our home to a friend for several months. Ragan was planning to get married in the spring – which she did on April 22 – and needed a place to stay between the time the lease ran out on her apartment and the time she exchanged nuptials with her fiancé, Cole.

We already had a great relationship with Ragan. She has always been our go-to babysitter for Tilly and Grady, and they absolutely adore her. Also, Ragan's parents, Don and Wendy, have been some of our closest friends over the years. A lovely girl that we trust completely from a family we know and love. The decision felt like an obvious "yes."

Our mother-in-law suite was ideal for her circumstances. Without laundry hook-ups or a full-sized kitchen, the apartment isn’t suitable for most tenants. But since Cole lived just a few blocks away and it was likely Ragan would do most of her cooking and laundry over there, this living situation would be a perfect match for her and us both. A temporary home in exchange for free babysitting several times a month. Again, an obvious “yes.”

But even with all the signs pointing (in flashing neon lights) to "yes," there was some apprehension in letting someone into our home. This wouldn't just be giving Ragan a place to stay. This would be giving her a closer glimpse into our lives, and us a closer glimpse into hers. And considering that, there was some fear involved in saying "yes." What if she didn't like what she saw when she got the upclose-and-personal glimpse into our day-to-day lives? Let's be honest; it's not always pretty! As obvious as it seemed that this would be successful, there was the underlying thought, "but what if this doesn’t go well?” Christian author Lisa TerKeurst published a book in 2014 called "The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands" where she challenges readers to stop saying yes to everyone in exchange for saying yes to God. A book recommended to me by Ragan.

In it, TerKeurst says that each decision should be examined under the lens of these areas of our lives: Does saying “yes” make sense for our family physically, financially, spiritually and emotionally?

We had room for Ragan. There would be little to no expenses involved. Saying “yes” falls in line with our core values. We love people and, as Christians, we are called to help others where we can.

When considering the seemingly notso-simple question through that lens, it became an obvious “yes” for our family. And what came next resulted in some of the best months that were a true gift from God.

Ragan blended seamlessly in the comings and goings from our home. My kids always considered it a treat when they got an invite to come upstairs to Ragan’s “room.” Ragan would pour them sparkling grape juice in her wine glasses, and they would rehash their days to her.

Tilly colored pictures and taped them on the outside door to her apartment to greet Ragan when she got home, and Ragan treasured them like they were fine works of art. One of Tilly’s masterpieces even stayed taped up in Ragan’s apartment until the day she moved out.

My kids loved Ragan like she was their second mom, and minded her better than they do me most days. I distinctly remember struggling with Grady to brush his teeth each evening. We tried everything and usually ended up having to pin him down to get the “sugar bugs” off his teeth. Not Ragan. She always had a creative solution that would have my kids doing exactly what she requested. And when it came to the dreaded brushing of Grady’s teeth, she would calmly say, “OK, Grady, you know if you don’t brush your teeth you’ll have nightmares about vampires.” To which he responded with a vigorous scrubbing of his teeth.

We enjoyed seeing Ragan each morning on our way out the door to school and visiting with her in the evenings before she headed to Cole's house for dinner. And in between the intersection of her daily life and ours, we all found a true friendship. What I saw in Ragan over those months of living together was a sweet-spirited young lady who gives so openly to the people in her life and loves in such a generous and genuine way.

I have always been a believer that we establish a family in two ways. There's the family we're born into and the family we find along the way. It has been one of my greatest blessings that in opening my home to Ragan for those months led to me naturally opening my heart, too. And in that give-and-take, a new family connection was forged.

Following Ragan’s wedding and honeymoon, she returned to our house to collect the rest of her things. As excited as we both were for her to embark on the next chapter of her life, letting her go was a little bittersweet. We may have shed a few tears, and I told her that now I understood the sadness of an empty nest.

But the truth is, whatever Ragan gained from living with us for those months was returned to us a hundredfold. I’m grateful that we didn’t let fear allow us to say “no” because the gift that we so easily could have missed came simply by opening our hearts and saying “yes.”

Stephanie Jordan is a local journalist, marketer and blogger.

Her blog can be found at www.stephanienetherton.blogspot.com, and she can be contacted at [email protected].