Moms may not be prepared to transition from daycare

NEW CHAPTER

I’ve never understood why parents of school-aged children are so eager for summer.

Unless you’re a teacher, the dawn of summer and closing of school doors comes with few parental perks. Sure, you may slip away from work for a week at the beach, but even that’s going to cost you 40 hours of vacation time and probably a couple grand.

To me, summertime sounds like a nightmare in planning and coordination. You hop your kids from one summer camp to another and hope for a few church VBS’s – whether you actually attend that church or not – and pray it can all add up to sufficient child care until August arrives and a new school year begins.

It never made sense to me. Why would that be more enjoyable than a nice, routine school day? I personally love a good, well-ironed-out routine. I do my best to live in a space where I know what to expect each day, and my kids like it, too. And they’re learning while they’re there!? … School is a beautiful thing!

In the spirit of truth and honesty, I’ll tell you that I’m a novice when it comes to school life. My daughter just completed her first year of preschool. We have only put our toe in the school waters. Although, prior to this year, Tilly attended daycare at the children’s center at our church, the same place she had gone since she was 10 weeks old.

Having done that for so long, I thought I knew what was coming. I thought, “I’ve been a daycare mom for three years. I’ve got this.”

Nine months later, I’ll be the first to tell you that I’ve been the one getting schooled this year. While Tilly has been learning scissor skills, recognizing letters of the alphabet and bettering her pencil grip, I’ve been working behind the scenes to make her days better and help her succeed. Here are the five things I learned in K-3 this year:

Lunchboxes are a thing. Until this year, we never had a lunchbox because lunch has always been provided. Hot meals are an option at our new school, so I thought Tilly would love to have chicken nuggets, pizza and some of her other favorites meals when they were on the hot lunch menu. Silly me. Rookie mistake. She would rather eat a non-peanut butter peanut butter (nut-free is new for me, too) and jelly sandwich every single day than to have a hot lunch put in front of her. Put a hot lunch in front of Tilly, and a Hulk-like fury overtakes all 30 pounds of her. Message to mommy received: Pack my lunchbox with a non-peanut butter peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I will not turn green with fury.

Nap mats are a thing. I thought we would kick off the school year with a brand new nap mat. Our old one was coming apart in a few places and had become a bit small for Tilly. But our new mat didn’t arrive by the beginning of the school year, so we started with our old mat and transitioned to our new mat once it arrived. If I could go back and tell me then what I know now, I’d say, “Hey girl, don’t mess with a good thing.” For a little while, not only was Tilly’s nap disrupted but probably all her preschool classmates and maybe even the ones’ next door. She eventually settled in with her new nap mat, but the message to mommy was received: New isn’t always better. I’m comfortable with my old things. New school?

New friends? New nap mat? Enough is enough. I am putting my foot down, but certainly not my head for a nap on this stupid new nap mat.

Leave nothing behind. Preschool classrooms are much like a black hole. Stuff goes in and never comes back out. This has led to several urgent texts and e-mails from the mothers of Tilly’s classmates wondering if a blanket ended up in our bag, or we accidentally ended up with two stuffed unicorns at our house. As night falls and bedtime looms, these serious matters arise and threaten the sanctity of a good night’s sleep. Message to mommy received: It’s OK if Emilie and I have the same unicorn, but you should really think about putting my name on the tag. A unicornless night for me means a sleepless night for you.

Dress for success. Our school year started off with beautiful smocked dresses adorned with red apples and adorable Sun Sandals to match. I thought this was perfect. My little preschool angel would make a sweet, precious first impression on her teachers and friends. An adorable outfit … if I never planned on her to move or – God forbid – play. And once that first playground wood chip found its way into her sandal, or she stepped on the hem of her smocked dress and her playtime was prohibited by mom’s poor fashion choices for her, well, cute went out the window. Message to mommy received: I just want to wear Keds and a T-shirt. We can negotiate daily about wearing a bow.

The bottom line. This seems like a fitting point to put at the end of my list.

We arrived at K3 fully potty trained and derailed from there. A new school with a new bathroom and a toilet that flushes so loudly it may actually be the black hole previously mentioned in point No. 3. I looked like a liar – someone who sent her child to a school with a zero tolerance policy for bathroom mishaps knowing that her kid would have poopy pants. I was awestruck at Tilly’s resistance to using her classroom’s potty, and soon enough, that landed us on skid row. Tilly was sent home for three days to work on her bathroom skills, and that’s when we started the bowl blitz – a plan of attack that challenged her bathroom habits with a sticker chart and a candy jar. It was a process, but eventually she was handling her business and even asking me, “May I have some privacy?” Message to mommy received: I’ll do anything for some M&Ms and a sticker.

There’s a learning curve to this mommy stuff. You can’t read ahead to the next chapter or study up for the pop quiz that’s inevitably just around the corner. It’s trial and error, and the greatest lessons about motherhood are often learned in the errors we make, big and small, for the betterment of our kids.

Stephanie Jordan is a local journalist, marketer and blogger.

Her blog can be found at www.stephanienetherton.blogspot.com, and she can be contacted at stephanienetjordan@gmail.com.