Curses, foiled again

A witness observed a boy who appeared to be breaking into a pickup truck in Port Charlotte, Fla. When confronted, the suspect fled, but as he did, the witness told Charlotte County sheriff’s deputies, his shorts fell down, revealing red boxer undershorts. The deputies reported that they located the suspect, Antonio Kleiss, 14, and “asked him to pull down his tan shorts a little, and he revealed that he was wearing red boxer shorts underneath.” Recognizing the shorts, the witness identified Kleiss, who was charged with burglary and attempted grand theft. (United Press International) Authorities arrested Dale Foughty, 56, after they said he entered a convenience store in Onslow County, N.C., wearing a Spiderman mask and waving a sword, and demanded money. The clerk pulled out a broom and poked the robber in the stomach. A second clerk joined in the struggle, during which the suspect lost his mask and had part of his ponytail ripped out. He fled emptyhanded, but sheriff’s deputies found him nearby.

(Associated Press)

Woe be we

After Charlie Bolden, the administrator of NASA, declared that deflecting a near-Earth object (NEO), such as an asteroid or a comet, will be “what keeps the dinosaurs – we are the dinosaurs, by the way – from becoming extinct a second time,” he admitted that the space agency couldn’t afford to tackle that task, even if it wanted to. He explained that the annual federal allocation for “planetary defense” is $5.8 million, which represents a mere 0.03 percent of NASA’s budget and is barely adequate merely to locate NEOs and track their orbits.

(The New Yorker)

Rude awakening

After a couple staying at a treehouse bed and breakfast in Taklima, Wash., fell to the ground, they sued Josephine County for $1.2 million for physical, financial and emotional injuries. The suit filed by Michelle M. Buswinka and Maurice L. Breslin charged, among other things, that the county failed to stop the Out ’n’ About Tree House Treesort from building structures without a permit. County Legal Council Steve Rich said the county had threatened to tear down the treehouses over permit issues but ultimately allowed it to operate with five treehouses. On its website, however, the resort lists 18 treehouses, as well as rope bridges, zip-lines and rope swings. (Grants Pass Daily Courier)

Why banks always win

During the 2008 financial crisis, trading companies Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley declared themselves to be banks so they’d be eligible for emergency loans from the Federal Reserve Bank. When the Fed issued the Volcker rule, which bans banks from trading when their own money is at risk, Susquehanna Financial Group analyst David Hilder reported the firms would shed their bank status to avoid having their activities constrained. (CNBC)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.