NEWS QUIRKS

Curses, foiled again

Matthew Dale Hudleston, 33, handed a bank teller in Foley, Ala., a note announcing, “I have a gun,” and detailing his demands. He left with $9,945 but returned awhile later for his holdup note, which he’d left behind. A Baldwin County sheriff’s deputy spotted Hudleston in a stolen vehicle, chased it until it overturned, and recovered the stolen money, the holdup note and Hudleston. (Mobile’s Press-Register)

Chick magnet

After being charged with possessing a dangerous animal at his home in Ford Heights, Ill., Dewayne Yarbrough, 43, told Cook County sheriff’s investigators he bought the four-foot alligator to impress women. He explained he kept the alligator in a small tank and fed it only 10 live mice a month so it wouldn’t grow too large. (Associated Press)

When guns are outlawed

Authorities arrested Carey Newman, 34, in West Frankfort, Ill., after she reportedly threw a lawn mower at another woman. (Carbondale’s The Southern Illinoisan)

Downwardly mobile

Albuquerque authorities arrested Charles Mader for failing to notify them that he’d moved out of the Dumpster he’d given as his address. Mader, a convicted sex offender, is required to provide the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Department with a current physical address. Deputies who noticed Mader was no longer residing at the Dumpster tracked him to a homeless shelter. He told them he moved to an abandoned building. (Albuquerque’s KOB-TV)

Butter fingers

As soccer fans cheered, Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos carried Spain’s treasured King’s Cup, above his head on an open-top bus to celebrate his team’s victory over Barcelona. Suddenly, he dropped the 33-pound silver trophy, which fell under the team bus and was crushed. Emergency services workers picked up at least 10 pieces of the trophy. (Agence France-Presse)

A well-regulated militia

Los Angeles authorities accused Yupeng Deng, 51, of creating a fake U.S. Army unit and charging more than 100 fellow Chinese nationals between $300 and $450 each to join. Prosecutors said Deng told the recruits that belonging to the squad was a path to U.S. citizenship. He gave them fake documents and military uniforms, had them parade in a Los Angeles suburb and took them to the decommissioned aircraft carrier USS Midway, which is now a museum. (Reuters)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.