NEWS QUIRKS
Curses, foiled again Army prosecutors said Pvt. Jonne T. Wegley, 19, wanted out of basic training at Fort Benning, Ga., so bad that he offered a fellow recruit $5,000 and a job to shoot him in the left leg so he could get out of the Army with a medical disability. He figured he’d still be able to use his right leg to drive. Instead of barely wounding Wegley, however, the bullet from the M-16 rifle mutilated his left leg. He needed 25 surgeries, a total reconstruction of his knee and multiple skin grafts, and he suffered nerve damage so severe that he has no control of his left foot. On top of that, a court martial sentenced him to four months’ confinement and a dishonorable discharge. Wegley’s attorney, Maj. John Calcagni, admitted his client’s scheme was unnecessary, explaining all he had to do to get kicked out of the Army was to tell his sergeant that he refused to train. (Columbus, Ga.’s Ledger-Enquirer)
Never mind Kansas authorities blamed a phone glitch for mistakenly sounding tornado sirens that caused confusion and some panic in and around Hutchinson. The sirens are designed to be activated by emergency workers dialing discrete phone numbers. Officials said that a software glitch opened the phone lines to outside calls, and a resident who mistakenly dialed those numbers activated the sirens. (The Hutchinson News)
A mighty loophole is our God Coffee-loving Jews observing Yom Kippur in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg neighborhood managed to skirt restrictions on the intake of food by using caffeine suppositories. “It helps,” said Baruch Hersfeld, who owns a bike store there. “You know, it’s hard to concentrate when you’re fasting and also addicted to caffeine.” Asked whether the rectally inserted pills are true to the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, Rabbi Simcha Weinstein advised against them. “We want to keep Jews in the synagogue,” he explained, “and not in the bathroom.” (The Brooklyn Paper)
User fees When a fire started that threatened his house in Obion County, Tenn., Gene Cranick called the nearest firefighters, located in the city of South Fulton. The city charges county residents $75 to provide services to them. The emergency operator informed Cranick that he hadn’t paid the fee and so wasn’t entitled to fire protection. Cranick promised he would pay the firefighters as soon as the fire trucks arrived, whatever it cost, to stop the fire before it spread to his house. No dice. The fire burned for hours as Cranick fought to control it with garden hoses. Only when the fire spread to a neighbor’s field did firefighters arrive. The neighbor had paid the fee. Cranick asked the fire chief to make an exception to save his house, but the chief refused. Even an appeal to the mayor of South Fulton fell on deaf ears. Cranick’s house ultimately burned to the ground. “”I thought they’d come out and put it out, even if you hadn’t paid your $75,” Cranick said, “but I was wrong.” (Paducah, Ky.’s WPSD-TV)
Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.
