Curses, foiled again

A man robbing his elderly victim in San Diego took exception when a bystander interrupted the crime and punched the robber in the face. The robber responded by calling the police to report the assault. When officers showed up, they arrested the 43-year-old caller. (San Diego Union-Tribune)

    Police had little trouble finding two men who robbed a convenience store in Catawba County, N.C. The suspects called the police shortly after their getaway to request help with a flat tire. One of the officers recognized the men from a surveillance video of the robbery and arrested Mark Franklin, 46, and James Jennings, 31. (Charlotte Observer)

Rocket man

A 62-year-old man hosting a sledding party in Oakland County, Mich., stuffed a used automobile muffler with gasoline, gunpowder and match heads, strapped it to his back and asked another person to light a fuse, seeking what Undersheriff Mike McCabe called “a rocket-launch effect.” As the man headed downhill on an orange plastic sled wearing a motorcycle helmet and a plastic garbage bag as a cape, the device blew up, causing second-degree burns to the man’s face and the right side of his body and possible eye injuries. “Apparently, he has this sledding party every year, and he always does outrageous things at it,” McCabe said. “But he’s never blown himself up before.” (Detroit Free Press)

Not so fast

Authorities charged Chamil Guadarrama, 30, with shoplifting after security officers at a mall in Springfield, Mass., found Guadarrama’s pants stuffed with 75 8-ounce glass bottles of body lotion. Noting the suspect wore ordinary trousers but had strings tied around each ankle to keep the bottles from slipping out, police Sgt. John M. Delaney said officers “could not fit Mr. Guadarrama into the cruiser because his pants were bursting at the seams, and he could not bend over.” Delaney said security officer Jane Colon told him they nabbed Guadarrama after a brief foot chase because he “had a hard time running and was extremely bowlegged.” His legs were also “extremely chaffed.” (Springfield Republican)

Morality play

A male dance instructor told police in Madison, Wis., that a man phoned for private dance lessons, but when he opened the door to let him in, the man shocked him repeatedly in the neck with a stun gun. According to the criminal complaint, the 59-year-old attacker, who was also carrying a sledgehammer, insisted the instructor was a “sinner” who “defiles married women.” He told detectives that his church does not condone touching while dancing and that he intended to scare the instructor “and tell him to leave the women alone.” (Wisconsin State Journal)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.