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Teaching idiots
This town has been the theater for the careers of many a self-made man and woman (and nearly as many unmade ones) but the selftaught person is rare among us. Not so a century and more ago.

Fasting for Obama’s broken promise
Last week, 150 people from across the country completed an 11-day fast to bring attention to the Obama Administration’s broken promise to shut down Guantanamo within one year. The promise was made on the first day of his presidency, Jan. 22, 2009.

Reining in the gods of the Fed
Here’s a story that reads like the script of an old B-grade monster movie — and it would be comic, were it not so serious. The monster is named “The Fed,” a hydra-headed creature with enormous and destructive power, which it exercises from within the misty confines of a marble cavern that is unapproachable by commoners.

great autos’ chant from the endless pavement musical
rockin’ rollin’ down the pavement rockin’ rollin’ down the pavement listen to the great computermobile listen to the great computermobile can’t — stop — gotta — go — can’t — stop — gotta — go — can’t stop, gotta go, can’t stop, gotta go, can’t stop, gotta go, can’t stop, gotta go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, STOP!.

LETTERS
Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh have each issued statements, blaming the people of Haiti’s lack of faith for the earthquake and stating that U.S. taxes were being funneled to that country for support before the current relief efforts, respectively.

Suddenly, Hynes is a contender
Hynes had spent millions of dollars and hadn’t closed the gap between himself and Gov. Quinn. His message at the time – that Quinn’s tax increase proposals were bad for the middle class – just wasn’t working. He trailed Quinn in every poll by anywhere from 20 to 30 percentage points.

Brady optimistic about GOP’s chances
“The number one issue is making Illinois’ economy the number one in the nation,” he says. “I believe we can do that, because we have the greatest assets in the nation. If you look at [the state] as a business, we’ve been underperforming devastatingly.”.

BLUE GRASS PRODIGY
For Sarah Jarosz, an 18-year-old bluegrass prodigy from just outside Austin, Texas, that dream has become real. A whiz on the mandolin, young Sarah wrote her first hit, “Song Up in Her Head,” at age 14 and has since been featured in such magazines as Rolling Stone, Oprah Winfrey’s O, and Acoustic Guitar.

TURN OUT TO TUNE IN
The best thing is, the event is FREE! How can a fundraiser be free? The producers will have a table at the party to accept donations and give information about getting involved with Access 4. (Ever thought of having your own TV show?) The fundraiser is scheduled for 8 p.

Illuminati gears up for first Automotive X PRIZE event
The Progressive Insurance Automotive X PRIZE, a $10 million competition that seeks to produce a new generation of fast, inexpensive, super “green” cars, recently announced that the first in a series of scored on-track performances and evaluations will be held April 26 at the Michigan International Speedway in Brooklyn, Mich.

Tackling childhood obesity
“Children have a very small sphere of influence – parents, teachers, health care providers and maybe their church – so it’s important that we as health care providers reinforce healthy preferences at a young age and get others on board,” Carson explains.

A spectacle of Chinese history and culture
Five thousand years of Chinese performing arts and culture will take the stage Feb. 9 at Sangamon Auditorium in a multimillion-dollar touring production called Shen Yun (“divine character”) that usually plays in much larger venues such as Radio City Music Hall and the Kennedy Center.

Behind the scenes at Shen Yun, a controversial practice: Falun Gong
Promotional flyers for Shen Yun — a multimillion-dollar stage production set for Feb. 9 at Sangamon Auditorium — are lavish, four-color photo montages of elaborately costumed dancers, whirling banners and glowing quotes from reviewers.

A pictorial history of the ‘city of the dead’
One hundred fifty years ago this year, Springfield’s Oak Ridge Cemetery was dedicated by former mayor James Conkling as a “city of the dead.

More cooking classes and more Julia Child
Each session begins with Barker discussing the recipes with participants. Then the class divides into groups to prepare individual recipes. “It’s really a hands-on experience,” says Barker. After the food is prepared, it’s set out on a buffet, and students enjoy a full meal and discuss their experiences.

Extraordinary Measures, a genuine story of hope
As any parents would, the Crowleys do all they can to help their children. While doing research, John (Brendan Fraser) uncovers the name of Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford), a strong-willed scientist who’s working towards a cure for Pompe disease.

Movie times
PLEASE NOTE: Kerasotes listings are for Friday, Jan. 29 through Thursday, Feb. 4. Bracketed show times are Saturday-Sunday only matinees or Friday-Saturday only late shows. All times are subject to change. For updates on Kerasotes films, call 1-800-FANDANGO.

Bottle Rockets get fired up
When he joined the Bottle Rockets in 2005, friends and family rejoiced for what seemed an ideal fit for Voegele, a St. Louis native who dedicated his life to playing music. So far all is going well with the move. The Bottle Rockets just released their second studio CD with Keith on the four-string and Lean Forward.

PUB CRAWL
Submit calendar listings at www.illinoistimes.com.

BAND SPOTLIGHT
Direct from the metro-east St. Louis area, Coldshot makes its Springfield debut playing for the Goulden Motorsports Fundraiser, a private party open to the public.

THE CALENDAR
Submit calendar listings at www.illinoistimes.com.

MUSICAL
523-2787 $16 adults, $15 seniors/children.

FILM
The Japanese drama Still Walking.

FILM
Friday night see two documentaries, Baking Bread,.

WORKSHOPS
Promote your class, workshop or fundraiser here. Up to 30 words $10 per week; additional words .35 per word, per week. Contact your display ad rep OR email your ad (and contact info) to cenlow@illinoistimes.com.

PUBLIC NOTICES
NOTICE UNDER ASSUMED BUSINESS NAME ACT STATE OF ILLINOIS COUNTY OF SANGAMON TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Notice is hereby given that on 6th day of January, 2010 a Certificate of Ownership of business was filed in the Office of the County Clerk of Sangamon County, stating that SPRING VIDEO INC.

THE ADVICE GODDESS
Six months ago, after my boyfriend and I had been together a year, we started living together. We’re in our late 20s. Shortly after I moved in, he asked if another couple, his friends, could move in with us so they’d save some money. I said yes — on the understanding that they’d be out by early 2010.

NEWS QUIRKS
After robbers used heavy metal drain covers to smash their way into a Welsh bank in Cardiff and make off with $171,156, police quickly identified the culprits because a witness remembered the personalized license plate “J4MES” on the sporty blue BMW used as the getaway vehicle.

FIND LOCAL BIZ
Springfieldís Drum Headquarters. 1405 Stevenson Dr. 529-4840 www.daddyosmusicshack.com.