Curses, foiled again

Belgian authorities said two robbers misguessed how much dynamite it took to blow open a cash machine in Dinant. The blast caused the building behind the ATM to collapse, killing both robbers. Bank officials said they wouldn’t have gotten any money anyway, since the ATMs are designed to implode when forced open, destroying all the cash inside.

Too fat to kill

Edward Ates, 62, couldn’t have killed his son-in-law, his attorney, Walter Lesnevich declared, because he’s too fat. Lesnevich said his 5-foot-8, 285-pound client was too out of shape to climb and descend the stairs where police said the killer was perched when he shot Paul Duncsak, 40, in Ramsey, N.J. “You look at Ed, and you don’t need to hear it from a doctor,” Lesnevich told reporters, but admitted Ates has hurt his case with the jury by losing 40 pounds while in jail awaiting trial. “It visually impacts it,” he said. “I’m probably the only person in his life that told him not to lose weight.”

Shirking-class hero

Aaron Siebers, 29, who works at a video store in Edgewater, Colo., told police three men attacked him with knives but later admitted making up the story. The Denver Post reported Siebers said he stabbed himself to get time off from work.

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.