In the classic Marx Brothers film, “Animal Crackers”, Groucho Marx, as Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding, shared some of his African misadventures with Mrs. Rittenhouse (Margaret Dumont) and some guests at her home. Captain Spaulding: One morning I was sitting in front of my cabin when I bagged six tigers.

Mrs. Rittenhouse: Oh, Captain, you caught six tigers? Captain Spaulding: I bagged them; I bagged them to go away but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most persistent tigers I’d ever seen. Later . . . Captain Spaulding: One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.* Those kinds of miscommunications and wordplays are fun when meant to entertain an audience.

Not so much fun when you need something from someone and they misunderstand you. However, when you’re aware that the problem might indeed be more in the communication than in the actual situation, you have a much better chance of obtaining what you want.

When someone seems resistant to your request, first, ask yourself a simple question: “Why might they be resistant?” Did they think it was a demand? Did they not understand the question? Do they feel they don’t have the authority to help? Is it not their department? Is he or she a nasty person who wants to ruin your day? Notice only one of those five would imply they really don’t want to help you. In each of the other cases, you can understand why they would be resistant.

You can then correct your communication in order to help them to help you achieve what you want or find someone who can. * No elephants were harmed in the writing of this article . . . and that’s the most ridiculous thing I evah hoid.

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