Stepping Out and Staying on the Path

15 THE 15 SECOND SECOND PRINCIPLE PRINCIPLE (available from Career Press) can make your most cherished dreams come true –15 seconds at a time. Al wrote Ultimate Tennis, NTC/Contemporary Publishing Group, Inc. He is a motivational speaker, workshop leader, and management consultant. Has made numerous appearances on NBC, CBS, CNN and other networks. Visit Al at www.the15secondprinciple.com or email him at [email protected].

I was attending a health convention in Los Angeles and by the end of this four day event, I must have attended dozen lectures and taken hundreds of pages of notes regarding nutrition, fitness, etc. For the closing ceremony, our chairs were arranged in a large circle. (There were at least 75 of us seated within this closed ring.) We were asked to take turns sharing our most meaningful insightful and/or our most important moment of the convention.

As I was thumbing through my notes to find my “gem,” something very interesting was occuring within the circle. There was an infant sitting quietly on his father’s lap. However, after spotting his mother, who was sitting in the circle directly across from him, he suddenly became dissatisfied hanging out with daddy. Now he had mommy on his mind. He wriggled and squirmed so relentlessly that his father finally allowed the little guy to get off of his lap. The child seemed happier standing on the carpet and using his daddy’s knee for stability.

Then, with mommy still on his mind, the boy let go of his father’s knee and began to travel towards her. However, there was one problem. The little guy hadn’t quite mastered the skill of walking. He therefore fell onto the carpet soon after journeying forward.

For some reason, rather than rushing to his aid, his parents hesitated and instead, waited to see what his next move would be. What we all witnessed with great interest was a fascinating routine. In a seemingly endless cycle, the little guy would walk, fall, cry, get up, walk a little further and then fall right back down again. This “bumpy carpet ride” continued until he arrived at his mothers outstretched arms and began to giggle. It was at this moment that I knew I had experienced my most insightful moment of the convention.

Overcoming a “Disability”

Here’s how I chose to interpret the scene. The infant’s desire to reach his destination was greater than any fear, pain, or lack of skill. Regardless of his walking “dis-ability,” he was on a mommy mission and determined to get to his goal.I began to think about the lesson I could learn from this infant.

How often have we shied away from a dream or given up on a project right after a “fall?” From a failing grade to a job firing, from a horrendous artistic review to an unsuccessful relationship, from a publisher’s rejection letter to an unresolved argument, from an embarrassing audition to a physical injury. How many times have we made a decision (consciously or unconsciously) and given up, right there on the spot? Giving up can take the form of:

• Short, making Simple Steps the to Achieving incident Long-Term way Goals too significant and/or drawing premature conclusions about what has occurred, convincing ourselves and others that our idea was unrealistic, not commercially viable or not that important to us.

•believing that we just don’t have what it takes, deciding we never want to feel such pain, disappointment and/or humiliation ever again.

After Hitting the Carpet

“Fall down seven times, get up eight” says a Japanese proverb. If we are risking and going for something dear to our heart, at some point along the way, we are going to hit “the carpet” (and usually more than once).

The question then will be: “now that I’m down and feeling devastated, how am I going to respond? Am I going to make the incident too “meaning-full,” take the disappointment too personally and give up? Or, after feeling and expressing the pain and taking time to recuperate, am I going to get up, dust myself off, apply what I have learned, refocus, make corrections and dare to take one more step in the direction of my goal? “We age not by years but by events and our emotional reactions to them.” -Dr. Arnold Hutschnecker.

Conclusion

Being able to encounter obstacles without letting them permanently deter us, is a vital piece to the mastery game. Dead ends or detours need not be the defining moment that determines our future.

Instead, they can be viewed as unexpected bumps along the way. What’s called for here is the ability to change our relationship with challenging circumstances. This relationship shift can help us to view our trials and tribulations more like a lesson to be learned and a right of passage, rather than a “reasonable” reason to quit. It’s interesting to note that Diana Ross, one of the greatest performers of all time, feels that the art of performing is more about correction than it is about perfection.

In closing, the skill is in allowing all limiting thoughts, emotions, and body sensations to exist and selfexpress, while not granting them the right to vote. Without suffrage rights, they eventually will lose their sphere of influence. This approach will help us to regenerate, regroup, and restart a project . “We’re not afraid of occasionally falling flat on our face. It’s much more fun in life to give things a try.”

-Sir Richard Branson Virgin Groups founder and CEO