Process need not be stressful

Leaving the security of high school and embarking on a new journey to college is a daunting time in any teenager’s life. The process of applying to colleges, selecting a major, and waiting for that acceptance letter can be a trying time for both student and parent.

Angela Haacker and her family found a few ways to avoid the drama and eliminate stress last year while going through the process with their triplet sons, Eric, Clifton and Walter.

“The college submission process for our family was both fun and stressful,” Haacker said. “Each of my sons applied to two colleges, which made it all even more time consuming.”

The triplets started college this past fall, and have each had a very rewarding experience. Eric’s major at TCU is in actuarial science, while Clifton is studying neuroscience at Baylor. Walter chose to pursue business marketing at Louisiana Tech.

“We’re so proud of each of our boys, and we know they have different strengths,” Haacker said. “We told them they could choose where they went to school, and never told them they had to stay together.”

Haacker, her husband, Chris, and the triplets began touring colleges in the fall of the boys’ junior year in high school, when the pressure wasn’t quite as heavy. Having that head start proved to be a good idea.

“The boys were very involved in completing the applications to be accepted into the schools and in the scholarship applications,” Haacker said. “The process took a while, and we had a calendar on when each application and process needed to be completed in order to meet the deadlines. This process was very time consuming, but I worked with each one a couple of times each week.”

Haacker offers several good sanitysaving tips. “Review the applications and get your information so that when you begin applying, you have what you need,” Haacker said. “In some cases, my boys had to write an essay or paragraph for the admission process, so be sure to let them know ahead of time. Don’t wait to the last minute. Look and see what is needed for each application and gather your information before beginning the process. Also, keep a copy of everything because you will reference it several times.”

It’s important for the student not to let the essay or any required writing stress them out or overwhelm, but to be themselves with their written words. It’s also crucial to stay professional and not be tempted to implement gimmicks or other attention-seeking quirks into the process. Advise your student to simply follow the requested guidelines and let their personality and work shine for them.

For Haacker’s family, they took their time and made sure everyone had plenty of notice of what was expected of them and when. “I would let each of my sons know what night we would work on their applications and scholarships, so that we could do it together and it didn’t interfere with their other activities and homework,” Haacker said. “I did most of the general stuff and made the payments as needed, but the boys handled the essays and questions.”

It sounds like drudging work, but Haacker and her husband found a way to bond through the process. “As the boys would work on the questions or as we would finish one application, we would spend some time talking about what it was going to be like at school without each other,” Haacker said.

“They were actually excited about going in different directions and making friends on their own,” Haacker said. “They have been called the triplets or the Haacker boys their entire lives.

They were ready to be known on their own by their first name.”

As far the empty nest goes, Haacker and her husband are managing well. “Chris and I have enjoyed going to the different schools, learning the different towns and having time with each one of them,” Haacker said. “It’s great to see and hear how much they like the school they chose.”

The time apart just brings the family even closer when they are together. “The boys enjoy seeing each other and sharing stories when they get back together. And, of course, they text one another quite a bit!” Haacker and her family did their homework before diving into the process, and it paid off. “We talked to the school counselor quite a bit and to professors at each college,” Haacker said. “I went to a few meetings to understand the submission process and what all it would entail. The process took a while, and we had to be disciplined to get it all completed.”

Haacker also sought support from families on the same journey. “I talked with parents who had just been through the application process and a friend in town with triplets who had done this before me a couple of years ago, and she was very helpful,” Haacker said.

“One suggestion given that I would pass along is having a binder for each child with passwords, copies of acceptance letters and scholarships,” Haacker said. “The notebook was a great reference, and my guys used it many times as well. It was the best idea we could have had.”

“We talk a lot in our family, so we asked each boy questions, and encouraged them to do so as well at each college,” Haacker said. Haacker also advises scheduling meetings so there is ample one-on-one time with the professors or deans.

“Listen to your kids, and ask them to rank the schools they’ve visited in order of preference,” Haacker said. “Ask them what they liked or didn’t like. Communication is so important to this process.”

– Betsy St. Amant