A man is known by the company he avoids.

If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d taken better care of myself.

The two hardest things to handle in life are failures and successes.

Wisdom ... To get back on your feet ... miss two car payments.

American proverb: The most dangerous food ... is wedding cake.

Still remember my tax notice: How much money did you make last year? Mail it in!

Lots of great fiction has been written as of late. It was named Income Tax Return.

The boss gave his secretary a beautiful mink coat. He hopes it will keep her warm and quiet.

My brother was a Boy Scout ‘til he was 15; then he began scouting girls.

Overheard ... I just came home from a birthday party where the candles cost more than the cake.

Most husbands don’t want to be the early bird because then they’ll have to fix breakfast.