I saved my wife lots of trouble for Christmas ... an exchange certificate.

A salary is paid for doing a job. An income is for what your father used to do.

The newest grade school history book says the U.S. has fought in eight wars … Named 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

A friend of my wife got a divorce because she didn’t like the way her husband did the housework.

She also didn’t mind her husband leaving … he just didn’t leave enough.

Overheard … I got car trouble …it won’t start and payments won’t stop. An old frat brother has a great gift for the women who has everything … him.

Cynic admits not always being real sharp. He didn’t know he was 12 ’til he was 14.

Remember … a good boss is one who makes a raise effective as soon as the employee is.

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.” – Mark Twain