Headline: “Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.” Actually, the cold waves are just a cool part of Global Warming.

Girlie talk: “When she told the club she was having an affair, we all wondered who was catering it.”

Overheard: “My wife never lies about her age. She just says she’s my age, then lies about how young I am.”

An atheist is a guy who can watch a Norte Dame-SMU football game and not care who wins.

Guy talk … “His idea of a balanced diet is a big piece of cake in each hand.”

Those who complain most about “how the ball bounces” are the ones who dropped it.

Overheard … “My friend is growing old alone. His wife hasn’t had a birthday in years.”

Definition: Bachelor – the guy who never Mrs. a girl

Real headline: “Reasons for increase in births among teens remains unclear” – Washington Post

Overheard in D.C. … “I know honesty pays, but a lot of the time it doesn’t pay enough.”