Preparation could alleviate anxieties

It`s that time again; a new school year is here. While excitement and anticipation are in the air, anxiety may be lurking around, too. Adapting and transitioning from elementary school to middle school bring great stress on some preteens. They face learning how to get around a new building, interacting with people they do not know, tting into social circles and adjusting to meeting greater demands for self-sufficiency in studying and making the grade.

Some of the questions middle school students may struggle with are:

• What if I am not able to do the schoolwork the teacher gives me?

• What if I don’t have class with anyone I know?

• What if I can’t find anyone to sit with at lunch?

• What if I am bullied?

• What if I can’t find my way around?

Some of the changes that middle school students face:

• Switching classes,

• Having more teachers and learning their expectations,

• Dressing out for P.E. and

• Greater expectations of being more responsible and more grown up.

Parents should take a very active interest in noticing how their middle-schooler is settling in to the new school routine. Here are a few things parents may want to consider to help their middle school student make a smooth transition.

• Help your child get organized. Provide a time and place to do homework with needed supplies. Know when tests are coming up. Give assistance as needed – calling out what may be on the test if your middle-schooler wants you to do so.

• Give a suggestion for finding someone to eat with at lunch. Find someone else who is alone and sit with them at lunch and get to know them or allow him to take his lunch and sit with others who bring their lunch.

• Supply a couple of maps of the school. In case he has a lapse of memory of how to get to the various classes around the school, provide a map of the building.

• Talk to your preteen about his day. If he shares some anxieties, ask him what would make his day better (This question may help to increase his own problem-solving skills). Make suggestions as applicable.

• Validate their feelings. Put his feelings into spoken words, “I sense, you are feeling anxious about meeting new people and getting your homework assignments done.”

• Be an encourager. Speak confidently of your preteen. “I know you can do that. You have what it takes.” Speak of them as you want them to become, and they will more likely reach for greater things.

• Share your own anxious moments in middle school. Share a few anxious moments you personally had as a middle school student and how you got through the situations.

• Be an active school parent. Know what is going on at the school and participate in all school events; help in areas where parents can get involved. Contact teachers by email or phone if you have concerns about school work or situations concerning your child.

• Give information on bullying. First explain what bullying is. Bullying ranges from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some children bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings. Next, let your children know that if they’re being bullied — or see it happening to someone else; it’s important to talk to someone about it — you, another adult (a teacher, school counselor). It’s important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that children have to “tough out.” The effects can be serious and affect a child’s sense of selfworth and future relationships.

Characteristics of middle-schoolers to remember:

They ...

• Feel awkward and insecure,

• Have physical changes happening,

• Are preoccupied with the way they look,

• Feel the need to belong,

• Test and challenge limits (need for more independence),

• Want privacy,

• Make excuses,

• Are developing a social sense toward others and

• Are fantastic, energetic, enthusiastic and eager to learn new skills.

Remember, your middle-schooler is not an adult; the decision-making areas of their brains are not yet fully developed. He still needs guidance and is halfway between adulthood and childhood, so don’t have heavy expectations, as one would expect of an adult. Guide them, love them, pray for them, and you will continue to see them grow into responsible, caring human beings.

Dianne Glasgow is a family and child specialist at the LSU AgCenter in Caddo Parish. She can be reached at dglasgow@agcenter.lsu.edu, 226-6805 or 464-2552.

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