Seeking a respectful, polite society
Where has our respectful, polite society gone? Has it become more the exception than the rule?
A society that has respect for others, acknowledges others, says “please” and “thank you” and asks, “Can I help you?” Can that kind of society be brought back?
Have our busy lives left us without time or thought for someone other than ourselves?
The world of yesteryear had people who introduced themselves, greeted others, opened doors for others and never forgot to say thank you. Customers could bet on being greeted and ask if they could be assisted in any way (without feeling they were an imposition).
Can we bring these social graces back to our society? The answer is yes, you bet we can – one child at a time. It starts in the family. Children learn how to treat others by the example set by their parents and reminders from their parents when they forget what they should do to treat others the right way.
Teach children to use basic table manners. eating at fast food restaurants so much of the time may have helped our children to forget basic table manners.”
How can we as parents begin to help our society become one that treats others as it should?
Change begins in small ways:
• Help your child learn what to do when someone speaks to him or her. Make a game of introducing yourself and having your child introduce themselves back to you. For fun, let your child be a funny characters he/she likes. In real life, expect them to speak to others when coming in contact with adults or other children. Show by example; remind when necessary.
Let your child hear you speak to people wherever you go when out in public. This teaches your child to be friendly and not be so introverted. We as a society tend to close off and treat those we casually come in contact with as non-persons as we go about our day-to-day errands.
• Use “thank you” and “please” in conversations with your own children. Doing so will help them catch on much easier to using these terms. Say “please” and “thank you” to them when they do chores around the house or get their homework done without you asking. Encourage and remind your children to use these terms when appropriate.
Use “please” and “thank you” when you are out in public. Thank the waiters and waitresses at restaurants when they bring your food; thank the store clerk that helps you find an item in the store. Be an example to your child in showing appreciation for others.
• Open doors for people as you are out in public, especially those that are older, have a load in their hands or carrying a baby. Doing so will help your child learn to notice the needs of others.
• When company comes to your house, remind your child to allow guest to choose their seat first and family sits down last. Teach children to be respectful of adults and to care about others through your actions and nudging them to do the same.
Use praise when your child does think of others first. Genuine praise goes a very long way in encouraging a child to want to do the right thing over and over. Doing something over and over turns into a way of life, a habit, the norm. Let your child overhear you praise his good behavior to a friend when you are talking on the phone or telling your spouse.
• Help your child write thank-you notes when given a gift. Give examples of what to write or if too young to write, print it for him and have him sign his name or scribble his name. (You can print it in eligible letters.)
• Teach children to use basic table manners. Eating at fast food restaurants so much of the time may have helped our kids to forget basic table manners. Check out the basics – chewing with mouths closed; putting one hand in your lap; saying the blessing before eating and having conversation with those at the table.
Use social skills at home, and they will be much easier for family members to use when out of the home.
These are just small ways to teach children how to respond to others but become big when all of society develops and practices them.
Before trying to teach your children social graces, adults should give themselves a check-up on their use of social graces, too.
Begin today, teach by example, and watch your teachings grow in your children, and then grow in their children and as time passes, see society change.
