Watching the evolution of my daughter
As the parent of a one year old, I’m aware of how quickly life changes. One year doesn’t seem like an incredibly long amount of time to me, until I look at my daughter.
I see her walking, steady on her feet. I hear her talking, speaking a vocabulary that expands daily. I watch as she tests the limits, learning the value of right versus wrong. I experience her love the people and things around her – a mini schnauzer named Baxter being the recipient of most of her affections.
Witnessing life unfold for her chapter by chapter is one of the greatest joys of being her parent. But it’s also one of the most bittersweet. My infant is now a toddler. She rarely wants to lay her head on my chest and nap, unless she’s not feeling well. I’m not as funny to her as I used to be. Her idea of valuable entertainment has expanded from my silly faces to the likes “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” and “Sofia the First.” These are her first grasps at independence, and as a mother, I have to willingly let go ... even just the littlest bit.
Parenthood is filled with life lessons.
Maybe more for us than the lessons we aim to teach our children. And even though I’m still in the first volume of this wonderful story, I’ve been stretched to learned new things about myself by raising my child. I’m not just learning more about who I am as a woman, wife and mother, but I’m learning about the person I strive to be.
My friend, Emily, recently shared with me her favorite prayer, based on a prayer by Saint Francis of Assini. It has since become a reflection I come back to regularly to remind myself of the characteristics I strive to achieve, even in the midst of personal conflicts.
“Make me an instrument of peace.
That where there is hatred, let me bring love. Where there is injury, may I bring pardon. Where there is discord, may I bring harmony and where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, may I bring hope. Where there are shadows, may I bring light and where there is sadness, may I bring joy.
“Grant that I may offer comfort rather than seek to be comforted. Grant also that I may understand rather than seek to be understood.
“And grant that I may give love, rather than seek to be loved. For it is in giving that we receive. It is by forgiving that we are forgiven. It is in dying that we awaken to new life.”
For myself, and many friends and loved ones, this past year has had moments of injury and discord. Some of us spent days in the shadows or suffering in silent despair. We’ve unexpectedly lost people we love, or spent months by their side as they were slowly nursed to back good health.
By the same token, and because of the bonds we share, our days have also been filled with great joy, faith and love.
Someone recently told me they don’t believe people ever truly change. That we simply are who we are, but I hope that’s not the case. I hope in my 30-plus years that I’ve grown past my childhood desire for instant gratification; moved past the self-serving nature of my teenage years and recovered from the fumbles that came with navigating early adulthood.
Watching the evolution that has taken place in my little girl this past year leads me to beg that I may not be so set in my ways that I become rigid and incapable of change. May I become more eager to explore, more willing to learn and change, more like her.
Stephanie Jordan is a local journalist, marketer and blogger. Her blog can be found at www. stephanienetherton.blogspot.com, and she can be contacted at stephanienetjordan@gmail.com.
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